帮一名网友对英语写作进行修改润色获打赏
近期论坛里有一名网友需要对他的英语作文进行修改及润色，于是花了二个小时，给他重新把作文梳理了一遍，得到了这位论坛网友的200打赏，现记录如下：Background: Looking for the motive power ofleaning EnglishMotive drive 一般原来形容机器的驱动力，如果要表达某人内在的驱动力，建议使用：Inner driveLet me talk about thisbackground of <desperate housewives>teleplay,through four side:1,my personal;2,the story;3,author and production;4:actress. 为了让自己的逻辑和思路更清晰，建议改写成这样： Let me start off by introducing mypersonal background and my original aspiration of learning English throughwatching desperate housewives, here are four different aspects I would like toshare with you: Background1:about personalAbout personal，不符合西方人的表达习惯，如果需要表达个人学习该剧的原因介绍，可以用：My Personal Background.“Give me a reason”,This word is from dialogueof film.It’s right to study English for me today. （引证给出后，并没有道出个人的心路历程，观众无法感同深受。） “Give me a reason!”, it is such simple yet powerful quotationthat I learned from a movie, a question that I would ask myself whenever I feelstuck in the middle of nowhere. I always believed that only by figuring out theinner drive as to why should I make a move, would I be able to march forwardwithout a second thought. Now, right time, right place, right people, I decideit’s just in the nick of time for me to study English. The reason why I set out to learnEnglish through watching DH is because TV-shows/ Teleplays are filled withauthentic English dialogues, juicy anecdotes, and practical expressions. In Covid-19 period,I fell I Can’t do anything.Idecide to learn English.The next question is how to start to study?In mymemory,I read a abridged English novel,named <Jane Eyre>,by Charlotte,oneof three famous Bronte sisters.that time,I was student of university,studyingmute English.I remember clearly,when I read the last chapter of that story,Iwas moved,touched,thunderbolt and amazing.that is first time for my feelingthrough reading in English novel.So I decide to looking for classical work ofTV show。Accompanying opening theme song,four apples fall off in hands of fourhousewives,and Accompanying the story was going on,I think <Desperatehousewives > is such a classical teleplay. During the COVID-19 Pandemic /outbreak, I was trapped in a world where I feel there’s nothing I can do.Therefore, I decided to advance my English level, and then it occurs to me：Where should I begin to set foot on this journey？It was at that moment, an English novel by the name of <JaneEyre> sailed into view / popped up in my mind, and I have to say it was the most impressive novel that I hadread in the Ivory Tower throughout my university years. From which, I can stillvividly recall the main actress, Charlotte, who was one of the three famousBronte sisters. Especially when I finished reading through the last chapter, Iwas deeply touched, tears welled up in my eyes（可以增加类似感官细节描述）, the storyline was so intriguingwhich Kept my eyes glued to the book, and the actions taken by the main actresshit me like a thunderbolt. As a matter of fact, that was the first time I feltso excited to experience the fire in my belly through reading a classic novel.After reliving that thought-provoking and heart-wrenching experience, I decidedto resume advancing my English level by taking advantage of a classic TV show.One day, I came across this amazing soup-opera, desperate housewives, with fourapples falling off the hands of four distinctive women in the opening theme, theshow fully opened my eyes, followed by its mysterious and absorbing storyline,my curiosity piqued, my passion aroused, my intellect entertained, it was suchan amazing and classic show that fits perfectly well with my originalaspiration. As a result, I considered it the most incredible show for me tofurther improve my English level.
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